i'd rather be in haena   

or anyplace with more trees and less concrete


by admin - February 12th, 2005.
Filed under: music.

Kat has got to be close to 35 or 40 now. She’s a classically trained violinist who’s into Paganini and Yngwie Malmsteen, n’ shit. She also fancies herself something of a shredding metal guitarist. She’s been sending wacky press releases and promos to journalists and just about anyone who will listen (and a lot of people who won’t) for about 15 years now.
She mailed a sample copy of her new DVD EP to my workplace and I got first dibs.
THE GREAT KAT – EXTREME GUITAR SHRED (capitals essential) contains 6 very short clips plus some bonus features. It’s pretty funny. There’s lots of fake blood and abrupt handheld camerawork and bad (as in bad-good) lipsyncing. Kat is always swinging her guitar around and making this expression that looks like she’s pretending to be wired into a 440 outlet, all mascara’d and bugeye’d, with her teeth drawn back over her lips. She’s usually decked out in an American flag bikini or some sort of neo-bondage wear.
She’s not exactly sexy– or maybe she is, but I’m laughing so hard I can’t really determine how hot she is. She’s mainly scary, as in Glenn Close-meets-SCTV-on-public-access scary. That is, sort of pathetic-spooky with an undercurrent of such silly unfunniness that she’s…uh, funny.
It’s very complex.
For some reason I guess she wanted to make the video kid-friendly so there’s boxes placed in front of any nudity– including the climax of a dopey segment in a mock operating room entitled, you guessed it, “Castration.” The DVD concludes with a song called “War” that has Holocaust footage, as well as clips of the World Trade Center buildings collapsing.
So you can’t say she’s not topical.
The bonus features are entitled “Hot Shred Bits,” “Shred FAQs” and “Shred Credits”. I think it’s groundbreaking for her to list the credits as a bonus feature, by the way.
“Hot Shred Bits” appears to be a bunch of rapid-fire edited shots of still photos strung together. It lasts about a minute, but it seems longer. “Shred FAQs” is so dumb it’s not funny, so I won’t go into it. Oh, wait, she lists her fave classical composers, which is mildly amusing.
The DVD is very short, but only $8.00 postpaid at The Great Kat’s site. Turn down your computer’s sound before you hit the URL unless you want to get blown out of your chair when the page loads.
If you don’t like screaming, bad speedmetal and cheap production values, you probably won’t be into this.

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